Plan B: Single Motherhood

I am so honored and privileged to introduce to you my sister Katie. She is an amazing woman and I know you will fall in love with her. She has quite a story but it's a story that has God written throughout her pages and I'm going to let her tell you a little about it. 

I don't know about other Christian single moms out there, but being a single parent was not exactly my 'plan A' for my life. Since I was very small, I had dreamed of being a stay at home mom, and a wife of a godly husband. It doesn't seem like it was so much to ask, does it? Did any of us really plan to be single moms? If it wasn't our plan, whose was it? 

I was raised with the belief that divorce is always wrong, and that every marriage can be saved. I'm not going to debate those issues here, simply because I'm discussing those who are already single! My point is, when I left my husband, I felt like God was done with me. I was irrevocably out of God's will. All that was left for me was try to raise my children well, and hope their lives could make up for the failure mine had been. But I knew statistically, even that was a losing battle. 

So where are we now? No husband, no hope? Far from it! Would you suspend your disbelief for a moment as I suggest that God's plan for you right now is to be a single mom? Don't get me wrong, I know that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), and I agree! Divorce is no fun! But, God also calls lying an abomination (Proverbs 12:22). Now, if I said everyone who ever told a lie was out of God's will forever, you would argue with me, right? The Bible teaches that all sins are equally serious. Why do we act like a divorce is so much worse than other things? A single mother can glorify God with her life! 

When I left my husband, it was for the safety of myself and my children. I believed God wanted me to leave. I still tried to fix the marriage, but I was the only one interested in that project. I began to doubt I had done the right thing. Then I started to see God work. He provided a very nice house for us, at very low rent. He provided a job where I could work nights (getting some sleep at work) and still be at home with my girls during the day. He provided babysitters. He gave me a car. Around this time, my Mom started calling me "God's spoiled daughter!" I worked hard to care for my girls, but so many times the only explanation for us getting what we needed was that God was looking out for us.

Aside from physical provisions, God provided things of much more lasting value. He gave me opportunities to minister. I wish I could tell you all my stories about 'my' teen girls to whom I became a big sister and was able to reach into their lives. I could tell you about bringing carloads of visitors to church because people were asking me if they could come, too! There are many stories of God working, of outright miracles I have seen and have been honored to be a small part in them. I finally realized God was far from putting me on the shelf because of my singleness. God can still use you! 

I challenge you to take a moment and think about your life. Have there been times you have looked back and saw how God was preparing you for being a single mom? Have there been instances you realized you had an opportunity to minister which you wouldn't have had unless you had gone through whatever circumstances brought you to this state of singleness? Have there been moments you understood how God has made you more like Christ through the challenges you have been forced to rise up and meet?

We have an amazingly merciful God! No matter what caused us to be single moms, He uses our circumstances for our sanctification. I can almost promise that whatever brought you here, there was a great deal of pain involved. God doesn't tell us, "You messed up, so now you hurt. Tough luck." God feels our pain with us and uses it to mold us to be more like Christ. He brings beauty from the ashes. He can bring beauty even from the devastation of a broken marriage! Trust Him! Follow Him! Don't despair, and don't give up. Keep striving to serve Christ. Someday, you will look back and see that God redeemed your pain. We don't know when that may be, or if it will be on this earth, but it will happen if we keep following the Savior!

If you were blessed by this post would you please take a moment to comment below? My sister is new to this whole blog world and I have been encouraging her for some time to start one of her own.  She's an AMAZING writer people! She puts me to SHAME! Until THAT happens - she's starting out here on Stringer Mama. Of which I am deliriously excited about!!  

In HIS Grip, 
               

My Addiction Confession

I have an addiction. In fact, I have two addictions and God has been working on me with both of them. Therefore I am going to do something about them because addictions are serious and should not be taken lightly, no matter what they are. Trust me, I've been fighting this battle in my mind for a while. I've decided that God is going to win this one. 

I have an addiction to screens. TV screens, Computer screens, and my tablet screen. If I do not get on my "screens" at least once a day, I struggle with feeling out of the loop or even not in control. Here is a definition of an addiction from Dictionary.com 

ADDICTION: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

Here's another one from Merriam-Webster dictionary.

ADDICTION: compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly: persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful. 

Now you may be doubting whether or not I am truly addicted to screens by this definition and I may not be. I may simply be wasting my time with screens. But God has been making it ever so clear to me that I spend too much time with them and 

when you say yes to something, 

you are saying no to something else

My time on the internet and the TV has become potentially harmful not only to me, but to the state of my family. 

My second addiction is to Cherry Coke. Yes, I know, you may laugh but if you've ever been around me when I have gone for 24 hours without my Cherry Coke, it's not so funny. I get migraines and I'm crabby and irritable. I'm often making runs to the gas station when I run out for more Cherry Coke. It all started with pregnancy cravings and then grew and became a dependency. This one I know is a true addiction and I cannot stop it cold turkey without it affecting me negatively. 

1 Corinthians 6:12 has become a verse that has been resonating around in my mind in regards to my "addictions." 

“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. (1 Cor. 6:12)

My screen time and my Cherry Coke have definitely been dominating my life and it needs to stop. So I am. Now before you get all worried about what will happen to my blog, it's staying put. God has plans for "Stringer Mama" and He has laid this blog on my heart. But what I am doing is going on a fast. A No-Screen Fast for one week. Starting today, even as you read this (I scheduled it to post!) all of my screens are  unplugged and sitting in the basement for a week. 

My plan of attack? To see what my life is like without screens. That means no allrecipes.com so I'll have to start cracking open some of my own cookbooks. That means no emails, so I may just have to CALL the people I want to talk to. That means. . . TIME. To do . . . I have no idea. But I'm concerned about it. Crazy I know! I'm concerned about what that time will look like. All I do know is it will be good for me, and good for my family and at the end of the week, I will come back and share my experiences with you. But I will also be doing something else - yup, weaning myself off the caffeine. 

But can I ask you to do something for me? I need your prayers! My addictions may seem piddly to you and I know I am not trying to stop smoking or alcohol or drugs or anything. But this is going to be HARD for me and I could use your prayers. 

Pray: 

• That I stick with it. 
• That God packs in the HUGE lesson that He has been trying to teach me. 
• That my family is understanding and survives (my kids will be going without Curious George and Busytown Mysteries for a week!).

And who knows what my perspective will be when I come back? I don't really know, but I'm looking forward to finding out! So here's me, signing OFF for a week! 

 In HIS Grip, 

               

In case you were wondering about the Life In Our Fishbowl Link-up, I'm afraid there really wasn't very much interest. If you would like to see it come back, leave a comment or email me at Ann@StringerMama.com. I will bring it back but only if there is enough interest! Thank you! 

Organize Your Year: Bible Reading and Giveaway!

Nothing like the beginning of a new year to plan out your spiritual journey! There are MANY MANY people (myself included) who strive to read the Bible in a year. To be honest, I never succeed. So I gave up on that goal. Then my goal became to read the Bible every day. That was MUCH better but I STILL struggled. 

But I am not striving for a perfect calendar. I am striving for growing my relationship with God. That is my true goal. So if I mess it up and miss a day it's okay because my GOAL is not to read every day but to grow closer to God so that at the end of this year, I can look back and say:

"God, thank you for allowing me to grow closer to You!"

With that in mind, obviously there are several different ways to do this. The best way is to spend time in His Word! My favorite way is via EMAIL! I know crazy right? The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is read my email and every day I receive a passage of Scripture emailed directly to me. If you go to  http://www.bibleplan.org  you can customize your own daily reading plan. I always leave the email in my inbox until I get it read. I love it - you will have to check it out! 

Another one I really enjoy using is http://www.esvbible.org. I like the clear cut website - I use it for searching for Bible passages for my blogging too. There are devotional plans that you can set up so it will go to the next day automatically.

And of course there are other Bible devotionals written by man that would be wonderful ADDITIONAL resources that can greatly enhance your spiritual growth. Some that I have truly been amazed at how God has used them to shape and grow me are "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World," "Loving God with All Your Mind" and "Me, Myself, and Lies."

A resource that I have used in the past is this "It's Personal" Daily Journal. It's a $15, 90-day devotional guide that I found very helpful. It uses 5 different forms of communication with God. If you are interested in truly jump starting your devotional life this would be a great resource! I must warn you though - it takes TIME to fill it out but trust me, it definitely grows you closer to God if you put forth the effort. 

Here is a picture I took of my journal - this was given to me several years ago so it make have changed a bit in appearance but they don't seem to have any other pictures on the website so I thought I would help you out with that! 

Those are a few ideas to get you going! Whatever you decide to do - do it for His glory! He wants to spend time with His child because like any "Parent" He loves you very very much.  

What have you decided to plan out for your spiritual journey this year? Please share in the comments below!

GIVEAWAY!

I contacted the makers of "It's Personal Daily Journal" and they gave me a free journal just for you! So if this journal piqued your interest but you're not sure if you want to plunge in and buy it,

leave a comment below with the title of your favorite devotional

(the Bible is fine but I'm thinking OTHER book ;0) ) and you just might win one!

If you don't want to wait use this code:

FREE SHIPPING - A9ZV3698LSJJ

Make sure you check back this week because I'm explaining a lot of ways to Organize Your Year! 

In HIS Grip, 

               

My Thankfulness List

Photo Source

I am thankful for . . .

1. My God and Savior, Jesus Christ
2. The Bible
3. My wonderful husband of six years
4. My sweet children, Aimee, Cody and Emily
5. My sweet little girl, Dorema now resting in Jesus' arms
6. All of my extended family
7. My new church family
8. My ability to be a stay-at-home mom
9. My friends both nearby and far away
10. My husband's job as a Pastor and at his part-time job
11. How God has provided for us
12. Our house in Iowa that is waiting on God's timing to sell
13. Our debt that is waiting on God's timing to be paid
14. The thrift store that allows us to buy plenty of wonderful clothing for a fraction of the price
15. The grocery store nearby who is phenomenal at helping us save money
16. My three bathrooms
17. The food in our home that somehow continues to be replenished
18. How God continues to teach me and grow me closer to Him
19. Pandora
20. Blogging
21. My Stringer Mama readers and friends
22. The encouragement of my husband to continue my blogging
23. The children's museum membership
24. Books
25. Chai Latte
26. The many things that I should be thanking God for but because He blesses me with them, I forget how thankful I am for them. 

Happy Thanksgiving

In HIS Grip, 
               

Daddy Daughter Smiles

Daddy is causing this smile!

 My youngest, Emily, is infatuated with her daddy. She can be having a terrible, teething, crabby, fussy, no good day and as soon as daddy walks into her world - all of her worries and concerns fall away.

She does not do this for her mommy however. She loves mommy and I get the smiles and coos and lovings just like a mommy should from her baby. But compared to the smiles and coos that her daddy receives? You would think that mommy was dirt. Her face lights up like a blinking beacon to her daddy. None of my other children did this in this extreme to either one of us before Emily came along. 

Today I was holding my little sweetheart (of course she's still my sweetheart!) and I got a giant huge smile from her and we were giggling and playing and having fun together. And I was thinking to myself how precious it is that Emily looks to her daddy in that way. I may be slightly, a little, okay a LOT jealous of their relationship but I'm glad they have it. 

I was contemplating their relationship and that familiar still small voice whispered to me and said 

"I wish you would desire such a relationship with ME as you do with your daughter." 

This daddy loves his little girl! 

Then it was gone. But the words are forever burned into my heart. Even as I write this, my tears are flowing because I know these are true:

God wants me to look at HIM with adoration.

God wants me to forget all of my cares and concerns when I look to HIM. 

God wants me to reach for HIM when I want to play. 

God wants me to be overjoyed when HE does something amazing.

God wants me to spend time with HIM. 

Because He feels that same way about me. 

Have you spent time with your "Daddy" today? He wants to spend time with you! 

In HIS Grip, 

               

I am linked up with: 

        

Hypocrisy in Our Churches

Churches in the mid-west are usually small and attendance is often irregular. If you ask a person on the street what they think of church, God or even Christianity - the answers often suggest they don't know or care or they feel strongly about not going to church because of the hypocrisy that "lives" there. We just finished Vacation Bible School in our new church and I was amazed and even shocked at how little the kids knew about God or the Bible. One night I taught the Ten Commandments. NONE of the 12 kids had ever heard of them.

So why are these kids completely ignorant of God's Word? Why do their parents have no interest in coming or even bringing their children to church? If you ask people why they don't come to church you will come across this blanket statement. "Church is full of HYPOCRITES." The sad thing is that they may be right. Hypocrisy is rampant in our churches across America - but here in the mid-west, it's casting the church into the shadows. But is it really hypocrisy? Or is the root problem something more basic? Something simpler?

 SIN

Sin - specifically PRIDE, self-pity, and deceitfulness. What happens when we sin? What happens after? 

 We hide.

From the beginning of time, from the beginning of sin's existence on earth we have hidden as a result of the guilt our sin produces. 

"And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden." Genesis 3:8

Hiding our sin is a product of the terrible sin nature that we were born carrying. You don't have to teach a child how to hide after doing something wrong. It comes NATURALLY! As we grow older and as others exemplify this hiding or covering up our sin, we become more and more of a professional at hiding who we really are.

Recently my husband (I'm married to my pastor!) asked this question in one of our church services: "What do the unsaved expect from true Christians?" There were responses about being good and not sinning, the necessity of having a good testimony. That's what we've been taught. But it's only PARTLY true!

People know if you are a fake. They can sense it. They despise falseness and hypocrisy. And where do they see it the most? In those who claim to follow a holy God. In those who claim to walk in the footsteps of Jesus. They see that we might be following Jesus but they also see us missing a step or two or three. . . and then we try to cover it up and hide that we fail, hide that we fall, hide that we are not as Christlike as we should be.

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. " Matthew 6:1

We know and the unsaved know and GOD knows that we are not perfect. It's still there - that sin nature. But the difference with children of God? It's what we do AFTER we sin. The good testimony that we need to have before unbelievers is GOING to be contaminated by sin because of that sin nature. Sin is allowed by God for HIS GLORY. When others are aware of our sin it provides OPPORTUNITY to bring glory to God.

We need to be walking this walk following CHRIST and the Bible's definition of following Christ - not our culture's perception of following Christ! 

May my testimony be more about HIM and less about me. 




Note: This post was first published as a guest post on Beautiful Mommy Feet

In His Grip, 

Ann 

Who Are YOU Trying to Please?

I’m a pretty self-conscious runner. In fact, I don’t even like saying THAT because I am NOT a runner. Every time I do run, I’m extremely aware of what people are thinking about me. And we all know, that if we’re too busy looking around to see what people are thinking about us while we run, we are sure to trip up every time. But if we are too worried and thinking about what people who are watching us run are thinking, we will fail to run a good race.

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, 

but only one receives the prize? 

So run that you may obtain it.” 

1 Corinthians 9:24

Pleasing man has been tripping people up for centuries! The Pharisees were famous for doing it. 

“…for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.” John 12:43

Jesus’ disciple Peter did it, Martha did it, Hannah did it, Job did it, and countless others including ourselves do it. When we seek to please men or earn their praise, we trip up and stumble. . .

I'm excited to be guest writing for Homemaker's Challenge today! So if you would like to read the rest of this post - head on over and check it out!

In HIS Grip,

Serving in the Church - Too Much or Not Enough?

As believers, we are all given spiritual gifts. Things that we love, things we enjoy, things that we are good at doing in service for God. When we do those things, God blesses our ministry in amazing ways. My gift is exhortation - basically a fancy way of giving advice or counsel or mentoring. It is where I see God working the most in my life. When I let God use my gift I sense the Holy Spirit guiding and directing my words and using what I say to truly encourage and uplift people. It's exciting to see! I love it! 

We all have spiritual gifts and there are many believers who are often confused about what their spiritual gift or gifts are. Chip Ingram has done an amazing series on spiritual gifts that are available as podcasts entitled: "Your Divine Design" or you can read the sermon notes here that include a definition of the different gifts. 

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them (Romans 12:6 ESV)

Unfortunately, I think there are a lot of people in the church who feel as though if there is a place in the church that is lacking, that we need to STEP UP and FILL IT UP with ourselves. WHETHER WE ARE GIFTED FOR THAT POSITION OR NOT. But you know what happens? Then that place is filled up with someone not gifted for the task. It's just filled. 

 Allow me to illustrate this further by using two women who may be just like you! 

Cindy is truly gifted in hospitality. She loves to have people in her home and get to know people and encourage them by having them in her home. In the Body of Christ, God uses her as a wonderful, vibrant "welcoming face" in the church. She makes people and visitors feel at home in the church, she assists them in finding the appropriate classes, she talks to them when they are standing by themselves, and she welcomes them to other services or even to a meal at her home. 

 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. (Romans 12:3 ESV)

One Sunday as Cindy was welcoming visitors, she realized that there needed to be a Sunday School class for the 2 and 3 year olds. The nursery was crowded and the 4 and 5 year olds were dominating the younger age class. No one else is doing anything about the problem so Cindy decided to talk to the Pastor about starting the class. Pastor, believing that this must be something that was laid on Cindy's heart, agreed. So Cindy started teaching the class.

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Romans 12:4-5 

Unbeknownst to both Pastor and Cindy was Trudy. Trudy had been fighting an inner battle with the Holy Spirit. She has the gift of teaching and she knows that there is a need for a children's teacher but she keeps holding back because if she did start teaching she knows she would have to give up sleeping in on Sunday mornings. She would have to get up earlier to make sure that she was completely prepared to teach. The Holy Spirit had been working greatly in her heart but all of a sudden, Cindy started to teach the class and now Trudy can go back to sleeping in on Sundays and not using her gift - guilt free. 

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

(2 Corinthians 5:10 ESV)

Cindy is not gifted in teaching the class and the little kids end up simply being babysat and taught a few songs. Cindy quickly gets frustrated with the situation and resents teaching the class. Not only that, but because she is now teaching, her gift of hospitality is not being used as it was before. She can no longer greet visitors as soon as they come in because she is busy using the copier or attending teacher's meetings. Suddenly instead of simply lacking a children's teacher, the church now lacks a children's teacher AND someone with a hospitable heart to make people feel at home in the church. 

So where are you? How do you fit in? Are you a Trudy? Are you serving the church with your gifts? Or are you fighting an inner battle with the Holy Spirit and not wanting to do what God wants you to do?

Or are you like Cindy? Are you stepping in wherever you see an area that is lacking? Are you ROBBING someone of being able to fill the place where THEY are most gifted? And in so doing, are you not completing your position in the Body of Christ that has your name on it? 

If you think this may be going on, I encourage you to talk to your pastor and see about serving where God has gifted you the most. Trust me, your pastor may know exactly where you really are gifted and can help guide you! 

In HIS Grip, 

               

  

I Just Wanna Be a Sheep. . . Or NOT!

Do you know this song?

It's a cute kids song and my kids love it and I love to sing it with them but you know, here's the thing. I'm not sure that God necessarily WANTS us to be like sheep. 

For a few years my family - okay my sister and I - raised baby lambs that were rejected by their mommies. And I do NOT want to be a sheep for SEVERAL reasons. 

1. They are STINKY and DIRTY! Maybe not as bad as pigs or chickens but they do have quite the odor! All of those cute sweet little pictures of white fleeced sheep - the only time I EVER saw a completely WHITE sheep was when it was a brand new baby who had not been in the barn yet. But consider this: 

We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. Isaiah 64:6

2. They are STUPID! A sheep will truly seek the grass on the other side of the fence and use any and all means possible to get to that grass if they see a possibility. Many times I would come upon a sheep trying to push against a fence or getting their head completely caught in a fence or stuck in between a fence trying to get the "whatever" it was they wanted on the other side of the fence when everything they needed - food, water, safety, protection was already provided for them inside the fence and did not exist on the outside of the fence. Consider this: 

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:6

3. They are NOT GOOD SHEPHERD FOLLOWERS! People often think that the sheep just simply follow the shepherd. NOT SO.  They follow whoever or whatever fancies them! They will follow the sheep in front of them. They will follow a dog. They will follow that patch of grass or that sniff of something. If the "head" sheep veers off somewhere so does the entire passle of them! When I wanted my sheep to come to me or follow me, it took CONTINUAL calling and HEARING MY VOICE (or the feed bucket!) to make them truly follow me. Consider this: 

When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. John 10:4

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. John 10: 27

With these things in mind - do YOU want to be a sheep? I know I don't! 

I want to be like the Shepherd!

But I am a sheep. 

I have so much in common with sheep. I am a sinner and sin is disgusting to God. I fall so short in my own wisdom and understanding. I seek things that are not good for me and I seek things that are not what God wants for me. I forget to follow Christ. It takes a constant redirect from the Holy Spirit to lead me. 

Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies. Psalm 27:11

So next time you hear the song about just wanting to be a sheep remember, if you are a believer and a child of God - you already ARE a sheep and you should be striving to be more like the Shepherd!  

In HIS Grip, 

               

Help! I'm LAZY!!!

Yes it's true. I'm completely confessing here and being transparent. Many of you who know me or even just follow my blog may be thinking. Umm. . . if YOU are lazy, I must be DEAD! Well, you don't see what's in my heart. But God does. And He knows, I am lazy.

I am participating in the Homemaker's Challenge and going through Sarah Mae's book, "31 Days to Clean." Let me tell you this book is fantabulous! And very convicting too! I'm also following the Homemaker's Challenge blog and the post for Day 9 - Confronting Laziness, hits me right where it hurts.

I may be busy and doing something CONSTANTLY and still be lazy. I may be:

Folding Laundry

Organizing My Closet

Sorting my Chest Freezer

Cleaning My Room

Reading Books to My Kids

Baking

and be LAZY at the same time!

You see, these things are things that I am responsible for that I actually ENJOY doing! I enjoy folding laundry because I wash laundry once a week and when I have 5 loads all piled up ready to fold I plop down in front of a movie and fold laundry and hang it on hangers all while I am watching a Netflix or something. It's FUN! Or I love to organize ANYTHING!!! My kids clothes, toys, books, my cleaning closet, my cupboards, my craft supplies - I love doing it!

Here's the problem. The things I am doing are not the LAZINESS factor. It's what I'm NOT doing when I'm doing these things that is the problem.

My kitchen floor may be taking on a life of its own because I am too LAZY to sweep. (Don't ask why, I just don't like it!) I love to mop with my Shark Steamer but I hate to do the sweeping BEFORE the mopping.

My dishes are never ending so I tend to let them pile up on my counters because I am too LAZY to unload the dishwasher. When it's empty I have no problem filling it and keeping my counters clean, it's when it gets full of clean dishes that I let it fall behind.

My bathrooms. Sigh. I am too LAZY to clean my bathrooms. I have even considered finding a MAID to come in once a week if only for an hour to clean my BATHROOMS! Many times my ENTIRE HOUSE will be spotless except for the bathrooms because I am too lazy to clean them!

I have many excuses for not doing these things trust me! I'm too tired and I have too much to do top the list. But the excuses don't matter because that's what they are: EXCUSES!

So here I am standing blogging completely transparent before you. I am going to work on my laziness and my areas that provoke my laziness. Because God's Word says:

The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing

while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied

Proverbs 13:4

I have the soul of a sluggard that craves a clean home but I need the soul of the diligent. 

In HIS Grip, 
               
This post is linked up to:

Modesty for Curves: Tips & Tricks

One of the jobs that comes with being a Pastor's wife is talking to teenage girls and sometimes grown women about modesty. The biggest frustration I have found among girls in churches today is not explaining the importance of modesty but HOW TO DO IT! 

Modesty is a challenge for me! But not in the way you may be thinking. The way God shaped me creates a CHALLENGE! I'm always hiking it up, or down, or around, or SOMETHING to make sure things are just as they should be. Oh, and it seems that EVERY time I carry my baby around I have to do a modesty sweep to check and make sure baby's hands are not pulling my clothes in the wrong direction. 

I've heard MANY amazing, godly women talking about modesty and covering up what should be kept for your husband's eyes only. But I have yet to hear of some practical ideas on HOW to do this! For women like me who desire modesty but have the curves that are somewhat harder to hide, this is for you! 

There are some tricks I have learned to help my curvy form be modest! Check out these "immodest" pieces turned "modest!" 

1. Tank Tops - wearing these under my shirts are probably my number one way of being modest!  I even have some tank tops that I wear BACKWARDS! Sounds strange I know but when you hold up a normal women's tank top, the BACK is usually higher than the front (go figure!). 

2. Tube Tops -These can be difficult to find but are very helpful to cover where it counts. Tube tops are nice because they stay put really really well - sometimes they are not high enough so try it on in the store and move around a lot to make sure it accomplishes the task. Wear them under the low-necked shirts that you have always wanted to wear but never could! 

3. Biker shorts - Yup - I love these! They are perfect for wearing under my skirts. I picked this up in my college days when skirts were required daily - even in 10 degree weather and on the windiest campus on earth! But I appreciated how much more modest I was when wearing them! It covers you completely in the back because they are cut higher than your normal pants and skirts. And if your toddler comes up behind you and pulls on your skirt just a little too hard - no worries! (They also have a nice shape helper factor too!) 

4. LDS shopping for formal wear. I am not Mormon and I don't like to support their venues - but let's face it, when it comes to modesty - they have it covered - literally! LDS formal wear is typically more reasonably priced than other modest clothing shops because they don't present modest wear as specialty clothing - let me know if you have found a non-LDS site that is reasonably priced for formal wear. 

Those are a few things that have really helped me in my quest for modesty. Do you have any more creative ways to being modest? 

In HIS Grip, 
               

Prep Your Heart for the Pastor's Sermon Today!

I came across this post on TrueWoman.com and I HAD to share it with you! Here is a little blip from Nancy Leigh DeMoss' post entitled "How to Get the Most Out of Your Pastor's Preaching."

"Do you ever find yourself . . .
• waking up on Sunday morning and wishing you didn’t have to go to church?
• having a hard time staying awake in church?
• daydreaming during the message, or making a mental “to-do” list while the pastor is preaching?
• picking apart the message or the preacher in your mind or not getting anything out of the sermon?
• wishing your pastor would be more _____?
• forgetting what the message was about before you get home from church?
If we’re not benefitting from the ministry of the Word as it is publicly proclaimed in our local churches, the fault may not lie in the one proclaiming the Word. It may lie in our readiness to hear, receive, and respond to the Word.
How can you prepare your heart to get the most out of your pastor’s preaching?"

Head on over to TrueWoman.com to continue reading this post.


In HIS Grip, 
               

Guest Posting for Beautiful Mommy Feet!

Today I am guest posting for Melissa at Beautiful Mommy Feet! Her blog has been a blessing to me and has truly resonated in my heart! This Pastor's wife has quickly become one of my "bloggy" friends and I've enjoyed getting to know her better! She asked me to write about Cultural Christianity and to be honest, this task stretched me in ways I did not expect when I told her "yes!" I learned a lot and God really led me in writing this - here is a little snippet! For the rest you will have to head on over to Beautiful Mommy Feet!

Churches in the mid-west are usually small and attendance is often irregular. If you ask a person on the street what they think of church, God or even Christianity - the answers often suggest they don't know or care or they feel strongly about not going to church because of the hypocrisy that "lives" there. We just finished Vacation Bible School in our new church and I was amazed and even shocked at how little the kids knew about God or the Bible. One night I taught the Ten Commandments. NONE of the 12 kids had ever heard of them.

So why are these kids completely ignorant of God's Word? Why do their parents have no interest in coming or even bringing their children to church? If you ask people why they don't come to church you will come across this blanket statement...

For the rest of today's post head on over! Thanks for stopping!


In HIS Grip, 
               

Life in Our Fishbowl: Ministry Burn Out

As a ministry family, it isn't long before you hear things like "avoiding burnout" and "struggling with burnout." What exactly IS burnout??? Here's what I have gathered. Burnout is a time when a ministry family is hurting or struggling and contemplating getting out of ministry forever. People have hurt them, offended them, confused them, attacked them or judged them. Or maybe it has to do with the physical aspect of ministry - they are tired, run down, mentally exhausted, or carrying too many burdens cast on their shoulders by members of their congregation.

As not only a pastor's wife, but a child of God cursed with a sin nature, I am also susceptible to this burnout issue. I've seen men and women and even pastor's kids become bitter towards the ministry or even the church itself. It is a heartbreaking experience for everyone involved.

I think it's important to remember that God never leads us down the easy path - He leads us on the path that will bring more glory to Him. It doesn't matter if you are in ministry or not - if you are God's child, you have been called to follow Christ. (Romans 8:29)  It doesn't matter what He will lead you through - He will always be there with you, alongside you, helping you, guiding you and loving you.

Psalm 91:1-2 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." 

Over and over in Scripture God calls us to walk as Christ walked - and if you truly consider where Christ walked, His walk had joyous moments that involved having His feet washed with expensive perfume or palm branches and His walk also had moments of pain carrying His cross to the hill and lying down on it and dying on that cross. His walk was not easy.

Lamentations 3:32 "Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love." 

Photo Credit

The hardest time in my Christian life was when I miscarried our daughter, Dorema (for more about her - go here). I remember sitting on the couch with my husband after crying and feeling my heart break and ache in more ways than I had ever experienced and feeling such peace -

Philippians 4:17 - "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

 I knew that if it were not for God's peace, I would have experienced my darkest days. The depression that wanted to seep into my soul was not allowed to enter because God's peace was there instead. I found comfort and even joy in knowing that God was there holding my heart and keeping it from shattering into a million pieces.

Lamentations 3:22 - "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

 I have to be honest, I'm not really sure why God led me to write about ministry burnout. Our ministry is going well right now and I'm very far away from feeling the kind of heartbreak that I describe here. It's possible of course that God is preparing me for something. Or maybe this is for you. Maybe YOU are feeling that "burnout" and you ARE going through those kinds of thoughts and struggles and you are not sure what God has for you or if He is even listening. If so this is for you. For more encouragement read Lamentations 3 and Psalm 42.

Psalm 42:5 "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." 

Why We Homeschool Right Now

I was homeschooled my entire life and my husband went to public and Christian schools growing up. We could have gone either way. We could have made the decision to send our kids to school or homeschool. To be honest, when I was growing up I had made up my mind that I would NEVER homeschool my kids and I would NEVER be a stay-at-home mom. HA HA HA! God has a way of changing your mind and laughing at the words "NEVER" and "WON'T." 

So here we are - I'm a stay-at-home mom and now a homeschooling one at that! But my husband and I came to the decision to homeschool fairly easily. For one thing, I was willing to do it and for another, we were heading into ministry and that can often mean a lot of moving. But those really weren't the REAL reason for choosing this option. 

We chose to homeschool because we feel that is what God led us to do. That's it. I could go on and on about the pros and cons of homeschool or public school or private school. But the truth of the matter is, I believe that God sets us up for a certain path and if we choose to follow God's ways and not our own, He will be glorified in His choice. The issue isn't homeschool versus sending your kids to school, the issue is following God's choice for you. For us, God made it pretty clear we should homeschool. 

It's incredible how God has given me a desire to teach my own kids. From the time that I taught Aimee how to write her first "A" for Aimee, I have gotten a thrill from teaching my kids and watching the light turn on in their eyes when understanding happens. It's fantastic and I wouldn't want it any other way. At least for now, unless God changes the direction of our path! 

WARNING Signs are EVERYWHERE!!! HELP!

Have you ever noticed how many WARNING signs there are on things? They are ALLLLLL OVER!!! They seriously irritate me. Especially the foolish ones. Like this. 

I would REALLY like to know exactly WHY I am supposed to supervise this thing all day. I have enough to do with watching my kids much less their TOYS!!! 

And uh-oh! Emily fell asleep on it the other day! I'm definitely going to jail for THAT one! 

And while my child is being used, I cannot leave her unattended. Ookaaay??? 

You have to question these "Cautions" don't you? Why are they REALLY there? Is it for my child's safety? Well since they are okay with me USING my child - I somewhat doubt it. (Yes, I know that's not what they MEANT! but that is what it SAYS!)  Let's face it - there are a TON of warning signs out there that are not for the benefit of the reader of the warning sign. They are for the benefit of the WRITER! The person or company who put the WARNING sign out there in the first place! Gone are the days of people selflessly putting out a sign so they can avoid the same thing happening to someone else. Now we are cautioned against foolishness so we cannot BLAME someone else. How ridiculous is this? 

We have suddenly become a culture that believes it is okay if not completely ACCEPTABLE to BLAME others for our own foolishness or sin. 

We blame our parents for not raising us properly. 

We blame our government for messing up society. 

We blame our pain on the doctor. 

We blame our medicine for making us crabby and angry.

We blame our lack of sleep for our rotten attitudes. 

We blame GOD for the evil in the world. 

Wait a minute back up here. What are we doing blaming GOD? He is the one who gave us the REAL warnings! 

God gave us God's Word so we would read the warnings that will protect us. The warnings like 

"the wages of sin is death" - Rom 5:8 

God will reward according to your works - Rom 2:6

 the book of Proverbs contains NUMEROUS warnings for fools and children and parents. 

and COUNTLESS others.

We receive warnings every day from man - mail, internet, facebook, our toys, books, shoes, you name it - it most likely has a warning SOMEWHERE! If not attached to it - you can most likely find a warning online! 

So what do we do with the warnings from God? Sometimes we do the same things to His Word! We may not throw it in the trash but we see it and don't read it. We put it aside or store it away or ignore it completely. 

But these warnings are FROM GOD!!! He wants us to read them! They are truly for our GOOD and HIS glory! How many warnings do we see in every day life that are truly for our benefit? How many warnings are there that are truly for God's GLORY? 

Today's post is linked up with these wonderful blogs!