Plan B: Single Motherhood

I am so honored and privileged to introduce to you my sister Katie. She is an amazing woman and I know you will fall in love with her. She has quite a story but it's a story that has God written throughout her pages and I'm going to let her tell you a little about it. 

I don't know about other Christian single moms out there, but being a single parent was not exactly my 'plan A' for my life. Since I was very small, I had dreamed of being a stay at home mom, and a wife of a godly husband. It doesn't seem like it was so much to ask, does it? Did any of us really plan to be single moms? If it wasn't our plan, whose was it? 

I was raised with the belief that divorce is always wrong, and that every marriage can be saved. I'm not going to debate those issues here, simply because I'm discussing those who are already single! My point is, when I left my husband, I felt like God was done with me. I was irrevocably out of God's will. All that was left for me was try to raise my children well, and hope their lives could make up for the failure mine had been. But I knew statistically, even that was a losing battle. 

So where are we now? No husband, no hope? Far from it! Would you suspend your disbelief for a moment as I suggest that God's plan for you right now is to be a single mom? Don't get me wrong, I know that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), and I agree! Divorce is no fun! But, God also calls lying an abomination (Proverbs 12:22). Now, if I said everyone who ever told a lie was out of God's will forever, you would argue with me, right? The Bible teaches that all sins are equally serious. Why do we act like a divorce is so much worse than other things? A single mother can glorify God with her life! 

When I left my husband, it was for the safety of myself and my children. I believed God wanted me to leave. I still tried to fix the marriage, but I was the only one interested in that project. I began to doubt I had done the right thing. Then I started to see God work. He provided a very nice house for us, at very low rent. He provided a job where I could work nights (getting some sleep at work) and still be at home with my girls during the day. He provided babysitters. He gave me a car. Around this time, my Mom started calling me "God's spoiled daughter!" I worked hard to care for my girls, but so many times the only explanation for us getting what we needed was that God was looking out for us.

Aside from physical provisions, God provided things of much more lasting value. He gave me opportunities to minister. I wish I could tell you all my stories about 'my' teen girls to whom I became a big sister and was able to reach into their lives. I could tell you about bringing carloads of visitors to church because people were asking me if they could come, too! There are many stories of God working, of outright miracles I have seen and have been honored to be a small part in them. I finally realized God was far from putting me on the shelf because of my singleness. God can still use you! 

I challenge you to take a moment and think about your life. Have there been times you have looked back and saw how God was preparing you for being a single mom? Have there been instances you realized you had an opportunity to minister which you wouldn't have had unless you had gone through whatever circumstances brought you to this state of singleness? Have there been moments you understood how God has made you more like Christ through the challenges you have been forced to rise up and meet?

We have an amazingly merciful God! No matter what caused us to be single moms, He uses our circumstances for our sanctification. I can almost promise that whatever brought you here, there was a great deal of pain involved. God doesn't tell us, "You messed up, so now you hurt. Tough luck." God feels our pain with us and uses it to mold us to be more like Christ. He brings beauty from the ashes. He can bring beauty even from the devastation of a broken marriage! Trust Him! Follow Him! Don't despair, and don't give up. Keep striving to serve Christ. Someday, you will look back and see that God redeemed your pain. We don't know when that may be, or if it will be on this earth, but it will happen if we keep following the Savior!

If you were blessed by this post would you please take a moment to comment below? My sister is new to this whole blog world and I have been encouraging her for some time to start one of her own.  She's an AMAZING writer people! She puts me to SHAME! Until THAT happens - she's starting out here on Stringer Mama. Of which I am deliriously excited about!!  

In HIS Grip, 


  1. Thank you for sharing this. It's sad that divorce brings such condemnation on people, whether it's from themselves or other Christians. One of the godliest women I know also left her husband for some of the same reasons described above. It wasn't her Plan A to do so, but God still uses her in a very powerful way. Divorced Christians are everywhere, and I think it's time we showed them more love and support! :o)

  2. Well said -- from the bottom of an "experienced" heart. Listen to your sis, Katie, and write for the benefit of some people you will never meet but through your writing they may experience not only a changed attitude, but a changed life: because of your encouragement getting a positive change where they thought it could be only a negative one!

  3. Yes, I was blessed by this post! Thanks, Katie and Ann, for being willing to share in order to help others.

  4. Thanks Katie. And Ann thanks for being willing to have her post here. I want to keep hearing out of the both of you.

  5. I am a divorced mother. There was nothing pretty about the experience. My worst critic was myself. I did what I thought was necessary for the sake of my family, but I have second-guessed myself at every turn. But just as you described, God took us under His wing and did the impossible. As a single mother to five children, we never once went without. He gave us the perfect home, job, friends and resources to meet as in our crisis. He loved us the whole way through it. And He has also loved my ex-husband. Huge steps have been taken in the restoration of the broken relationship between my children and their Daddy. But it is not a journey that I would have chosen!

    I am now remarried to an awesome man who saw past all the ugly and loved the hurting people within. He, through God, has given us a second chance at hope and love. We've been blessed with twin boys, who are now almost 7 months old. The cup that was once seemingly empty is now overflowing. He is faithful!!

    Thank you so much for sharing your story! It is beautiful!

  6. Thank you for sharing this! I was raised in church, christian school, Baptist college, the whole nine yards. Hearing your whole life that divorce is never an option kind of sticks with you. I'm a single mom and am one of those people that thought it would NEVER happen to. There is a stigma of guilt that has followed me like I did something wrong. Even though I had Biblical grounds, it still made and to be honest sometimes still makes me feel not worthy. God has showed himself real and provided for my girls and I. It still isn't easy, but I've learned a lot about myself and faith through all of it. Hugs Katie!!!! You're not alone out there. :)

  7. Thanks for sharing your story! I am the daughter of a single mother. And the result? The Lord is the Lord of my life. My mom did the best she could and turns out, the best was according to God's will. My mother, too, left my dad due to physical abuse...she was protecting me...and I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for being open and honest. The world needs a whole lot more transparent Christianity these days, because we ALL are sinners... {p.s. Katie should TOTALLY start a blog!}

    1. Michelle,
      Thanks so much for your remarks! As I have two little girls, I sometimes worry about what they will think of our situation later on. Your comment was very encouraging to me! Thank you!

  8. Thanks Katie! Excellent post. Your sister told me of the song "before the morning" when I was going through a similar situation. God provided a beautiful new wife, gorgeous house, and happy family!I could never have imagined what an amazing life I would have!

  9. Thanks so much for sharing your post. VERY encouraging. Welcome to blogging!

  10. Yes, thank you so much for sharing your story. God is so good and He is a redeemer.


Your comments are such a blessing and encouragement to me! If you have a question or comment that you would like to ask, feel free to comment below or email me at! I look forward to hearing from you!