Life In Our Fishbowl: Parenting PKs and Link-up

discipline_your_childI have three PK's (Pastor's Kids) and I grew up as a Pastor's Kid as well. I don't know how many times I have heard references to the Pastor's Kids behavior simply because they are the Pastor's kids.

Everyone notices when the pastor's kids need to be taken out of the service. Especially when I have to take my kids out because we look like a 3-ring circus. I have a 4 year old, a 3 year old and a baby so if my 4 year old needs to be taken out - we ALL go out! Remember, my parenting partner is up in the front of the church preaching about serving God! Talk about intimidating to a mother to train her kids in a fishbowl!

There are two motivations for good behavior.

1. To glorify and honor God (honoring your parents and submitting to authority all fall under this catagory)
2. To manipulate and get what you want (respect, esteem, praise, honor)

It is VERY easy for me to parent and train up my child in the way it is EXPECTED for them to go instead of training them up in the way they should ACTUALLY go. 

It is EXPECTED that the Pastor's family will behave in a generally appropriate God-honoring way. Whether the children are two or twenty! 

ACTUAL God-honoring behavior involves honoring God with their heart and mind as well as in action. 

For me growing up, I had behavior down - I knew exactly what was EXPECTED of me and I behaved outwardly in a God-honoring way. But my heart was a different story! I was simply obeying to bring praise to myself and not to God. 

I want my children to grow up in such a way that they will seek to praise God and not man. This is incredibly intimidating to me and I can only pray and ask God to help me in my efforts to bring Him this praise. I recently discovered these verses in Deuteronomy (honestly I don't know HOW I missed these before but I love them!)

"You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Deuteronomy 11:18-19 
I love these verses (check out the rest of the passage for more context!) because  it talks about talking about God's words, about His commandments all the time in your home! While you are having mac and cheese at lunch time or while you are reading a book to your children. God's words and promises and love should be always around your children and not just explained to them when they get into trouble.

That's what I've been learning recently - now it's time for other Ministry Wives to link up! 

If you are a Ministry wife: Pastor's wife, youth Pastor's wife, evangelist's wife, or a Missionary wife, LINK-UP a recent post - ANY TOPIC - from your own blog so we can blog hop and meet one another! Oh, and be a sweetheart and include this button so other Ministry wives can get in on the fun too and so you will qualify to be featured!

Stringer Mama's Blog

In HIS Grip, 


  1. It is hard when everyone is watching. I totally hear you! But more than worry about what others are saying about "those pastor's kids" I want my children to be God fearing people. Great post.

  2. So hard. It feels like any behavior is judged extra harshly when you're in the fishbowl Great post! I don't see where to link up though :/

  3. Sorry about that Melissa!! My linky list server must have been down :-/ Good to go now! :0) Thank you ladies!

  4. It worked earlier because I linked up and not it is gone. Hmm?? Oh well. :) I'll link up again. :)

  5. I can imagine how challenging that must be. My husband is an MK and some of his mother's stories about trying to parent in the fishbowl both in the mission field and when home trying to raise support are pretty telling. It seems like she spent a lot of time trying to strike the balance between teaching public demeanor and also influencing their hearts.

  6. A friend of mine once said something to the effect of....when I realized I was going to stand before God for the influences I allowed in my child's life, people's opinions of my parenting became much less important. It's hard not to fall in the trap of seeking to be men pleasers. We must obey God rather than man. With prayers, Cheryl

  7. I'm not a pastor's wife(yet) My hubby is in training underneath a Pastor, He is a life group leader and leader at Celebrate Recovery. I also lead in youth group. And I do feel like we are judged harder, sometimes I feel down right paranoid over it. It's something I'm really praying for help with. Thanks for the post!


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