Remember our vacation a few weeks ago? I did something on our vacation - an experiment, a secret experiment. I didn't tell my husband about it until we got home. It was a commitment and a promise.
I promised to myself that every day we were away I would get ready in a way that would please my husband and IF HE NOTICED, I would find a way to make it happen at home too.
I've read the marriage books that say "Make yourself beautiful for your husband!" But my husband's favorite ways take a lot of TIME! He REALLY likes my hair down and straightened. I like to put my hair up in a messy bun. HE likes makeup - yes it's true - I wore makeup when we went out somewhere.
Well guess what. . .he noticed. He noticed BIG time! You married ladies out there you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about! On vacation he played with my hair, he kissed me more, he put his arm around me more. It was wonderful!
So I committed to doing it at home too. And guess what . . . He's kissing me more, he's holding me more, and last night he told me that he likes me just the way I am! WAIT ONE SECOND HERE. How exactly does that work? I told him that "that's good cause I'm struggling to change me!" But after I said that he told me some key words last night. He said, "You seem to be growing more beautiful to me. I think it's because YOU ARE TRYING to look beautiful for me."
Talk about a punch to my gut. I get it now. It has NOTHING to do with whether or not I have my makeup on or my hair all perfect. It has NOTHING to do with struggling with my weight or my baby-making misshapen tummy. It has NOTHING to do with the clothes that I wear.
It has everything to do with showing my husband I love him. And he loves me for it.
Are you struggling to get out of your what I call "bumming clothes?" When you get up in the morning do you look the same way when your hubbie comes home from work at night? Take a peek at the Song of Solomon. The ways that Solomon praises his bride are about how beautiful she is. Her hair, her lips, her eyes, her neck, I think it mentions every part but her toes!
Men are very visual and while women enjoy the visual - I think we would give up our husband's handsomeness for the soft caresses and verbal praises from our man. One thing I think we as women often forget is that GOD MADE OUR MEN THIS WAY! God made them to appreciate beauty in ways that we as women do not. It's a BEAUTIFUL thing and a precious gift. But guess what? We don't have to be goddesses or look like we stepped out of Sports Illustrated. (Thank goodness!!) We just need to put forth the EFFORT!
I'm figuring this out for myself. Finally. This concept will not perfect my marriage or fix the problems that we may or may not have. But it will show my husband that I love him. Because I do.
In HIS Grip,
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Ann- I love your posts. Wow. That makes me rethink my "Mess in the morning / mess in the evening routine" lol.
ReplyDeleteI found this through a friend who shared it on her wall. Thank you for your honest, precious thoughts!
I love your post too, but not sure what to think of this one (no its not a bad post). I am put together everyday. I have to be. I have to dress up for work. And I like to dress up, I like to do my hair, and I like to wear make-up. Ok so here is the problem, the hubs raley if not at all will say anything. Yah mostly never. It drives me nuts. Especially since he is in his dirty work clothes all week and then pj's, then when we do got out to eat or where ever on the weekends and he puts something nice on and shaves... I NOTICE!! and I tell him!! I wish I could do something that would make hime want to touch, kiss, compliment...whatever is may be..MORE Any advice on that one.
ReplyDeleteWOw this is the longest comment every...guess I sould have just emailed ya, but ohwell :)
Jessica - you are definitely NOT alone on that one! The one thing that comes to mind is to talk to him about it! My hubbie is a VERY verbal man - hence the preaching ministry! But even my hubbie doesn't tell me very often that I'm beautiful or compliment me. Just remember that this doesn't mean he doesn't THINK it! If you don't mind, I would like to answer this in a post and use your question as a springboard - do you mind?
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same boat as Jessica, unfortunately! :( While I don't have to make myself up every day to go out to a job, I still shower every morning, put on makeup and do my hair, even if I'm not going anywhere that day. I never hear anything from my husband. Hmmm....maybe I should slouch around for a few days, not shower or put on makeup or do my hair, and see if he notices then!! haha I would love for him to notice and actually ENJOY what he sees, and then verbalize it to me!!
ReplyDeleteI do not mind at all!! :) can't wait to read your post. Oh and oh boy do I agree with sandy LOL
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. It convicted me, because sometimes I do look the same when he gets home. (Except I'm dressed) I have been trying hard to get prettied up when he comes home, but it is a hard habit to get into. It seems like time slips away, and all of a sudden he is home. I need to make it a priority. Thank you for your inspiring post. I am also a Pastor's wife. I also have a clothesline on my blog header. It is a little different than yours, but I thought that was funny. I like your blog, and I am going to subscribe. Love in Christ, Angie
ReplyDeleteI love this post and thank you for putting it out there! I personally get stuck in a rut with this at times! It's especially hard when you have little ones that can be demanding of your time, and a husband that works 3rd shift, but I am looking for ways to constantly go out of my way to "show" him that I am still the beautiful bride (on the inside and out) that met him at the altar over 6 years ago!
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