Life in Other Fishbowls: Heather Hooks Part 2

Dun-dun-da-Dun! Introducing Part 2 of Heather Hooks' interview about being a pastor's wife. In case you missed the first part of Heather Hooks interview you can find it here. 

6. How has being a pastor’s family affected your children? 

My children LOVE church but I must be sure to shield them from those late night conversations about difficulties. Because church is the first place my children learn their social skills they are very trusting of everyone they meet. The church has helped me to raise my kids and it is a blessing to be in this busy stage of life.

7. Is it easier or harder to grow in your spiritual walk with God as a pastor’s wife? 

I definitely think it is harder!!! Because your husband is the preacher!  It is hard to respond to an invitation or an alter call. It is also difficult because others in the church come to you with their struggles and it is hard not to get yourself down because they are hurting. When I am counseling someone about an issue in their life I must recognize that I cannot bring those dark feelings home with me which is sometimes hard to do. I have learned to listen to scripture on CD while folding laundry and I also listen to other pastors sermons to learn as well.

8. What is the biggest ongoing challenge/s that you face as a pastor’s wife? 

The biggest challenge I face as a pastor's wife is BITTERNESS. I must always realize that I am serving God and I must rest in Him. As a pastor's wife you are expected to serve and the "thank you's" are sometimes few and far between. Bitterness creeps in when Satan has you dwelling on that small sin that was done against you. I feel that I am regularly attacked emotionally and I MUST stay close to God's Word to be encouraged.

9. What perceptions/standards do you think people have about pastor’s families? 

The biggest perception that I think people have is that we have all the time in the world to accomplish everything at church. As a mother of 3 kids under the age of 6 I am a very busy lady. I love serving God and I do so on a regular basis but I also am a homemaker and need to tend to the needs of my family. Which I am sure all stay-at-home moms know is a busy job. Balancing your church life and home life will always be a struggle but I focus on what will be of eternal value and it helps me to keep my perspective.

10. How do you and your family measure up to the perceptions people have about pastor’s families?

I have always been REAL to my church family and they love me for who I am and I believe that I am harder on myself than they are. They understand that you are a sinner and going through struggles yourself and if you go to a godly woman in your church and ask for help they will fell honored to be a blessing to you. A church family is there to help one another and that even includes the pastor's family.

11. How has your relationship with your husband been affected by ministry?

I believe that ministry has made us grow closer. We are the only ones in our church that "eat, sleep & breathe" church and I know that the decisions made at church fall heavily on my husbands shoulders. I have been there to discuss and give him counsel on different decisions that are occurring in our church. I have been his sounding board. Most of the the time my husband just needs to talk about it out loud and he comes to a very Godly decision and other times he needs my advice or input. The most important thing I have realized about being a pastor's wife is that I must 100% be behind my husband's decisions ALL of the time. He needs that constant encouragement.

12. If you could choose any other job/position to replace being a pastor’s wife what would it be? 

I would not change being a pastor's wife because I have grown so much as a person. God made this position to be difficult but I remind myself of my life verse 1 Corinthians 10:13, "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." This verse reminds me that God thinks I can handle being a pastor's wife and this is the best place for me to grow. God uses trials and tests in my life to grow me and teach me and I know that I have grown more in the last 7 years than I would have in a different profession. I love being used by God.

Thank you so much Heather for sharing your Pastor's Wife heart! I'm sure your church family LOVES having you as their pastor's wife and you have been a HUGE blessing to me! If you are a Pastor's wife and would like to submit a guest post or be interviewed like Heather, please contact me! I would LOVE to hear from you! 

Life In OTHER Fishbowls: Heather Hooks

Introducing a new series! Life in OTHER Fishbowls! Today we are going to hear about the fishbowl of Pastor's wife, Heather Hooks! I love her honesty and passion she has for her church family! 

1. When you discovered that you were going to become a pastor’s wife, what was your response? 

Fear! I thought I would not have any friends but God blessed me with the opportunity to talk with the widowed wife of the pastor of the church we were going to and she said there were two kinds of pastor's wives:

1. The pastor's wife that was afraid to be hurt and she kept everyone at arms length. She was a nice person but she would never get too close to any one person. 

2. The pastor's wife that threw herself into everyone's lives and loved on them and when they hurt you or your husband she would cry for 2 weeks. I decided to be the latter.

2. When you first became a pastor’s wife what surprised you the most?

The fact that the people really wanted to know the real me, even the flaws.

3. What do you love about being a pastor’s wife?

Being able to support my husband in every aspect of his ministry especially keeping him encouraged which is sometimes hard to do.

4. What is the hardest thing about being a Pastor’s wife?

Having tough skin. I love my church members but sometimes they don't realize that when they attack your husband they hurt you too. it is difficult not to take things personally but I just remind myself that they don't "eat, sleep, and breath" the church. They have different lives during the week.

5. How has your life changed since being a pastor’s wife? 

My life has grown in many ways. It has shown me that I need to only look to God for my comfort because He is unfailing and as a pastor's wife there are expectations that you accomplish with very little encouragement of a job well done and I have learned in the words of Paul "to be content in all things."

Tell us a little about yourself! 

I was the first person in my family to be saved. I grew up in a home filled with substance and physical abuse but God shielded me from ever becoming a victim. Then He used a friend's family to disciple me to grow and learn more since I had never regularly attended church before that. God led me to attend Faith Baptist Bible College and it was there that I met my husband. We were married after our junior year of college. Right after our college graduation my husband became the pastor of Yarmouth First Baptist Church and we have been there for the last 7 years. I now have 3 children and I love being a pastor's wife.

Thank you Heather for the peek into your fishbowl! 

My 5 Question Interview!

My friend Erin recently participated in a fun interview on her blog and I wanted in on the fun! You can do it too! Just follow the instructions at the bottom of my post! Here are the questions that Erin sent to me.




1. If you could acquire any talent that you lack, what would it be and why?


I would really like to know how to play the piano. Our church is brand new and unfortunately, we do not have a piano player. We have a beautiful piano but no one to play it. I would like to learn and may in the future (as we have recently acquired a piano for our home). But alas, I presently don't even know how to read music! 


2. What is the most rewarding part of being a mom?


My kids in general are rewarding to me even on my "tough" days. The most rewarding part is probably how we learn more about God together. I've discovered that when I'm teaching my kids about God they will respond with something that just blows my mind and teaches me something in return! Very awesome and humbling too!


3. If you weren't married with kids, what would your dream job be? 


That's easy! I would get my Master's in Counseling and be a Counselor on a church staff. However, I am still hoping this will happen - I'm not giving up, it's just been delayed for a while! 


4. God has lead you in a different direction than you planned this past year. What was the greatest lesson you learned through that?


I have learned so many lessons it's ridiculous! To pinpoint one lesson would have to be an all-encompassing one. I have learned that God's plans are NOT my own and I need to be willing to follow Him no matter the insecurities. 


5. What is the greatest sound in the world? 


That's another easy one!  The sound of my kids busting out a praise song either at home, or my favorite when they sing along at church whether they know the words or not! 


Wow great questions Erin! Definitely made me think and helped me focus my perspective on the  blessings that God has given me! 


If you want to play along:
1 - Leave a comment with your blog URL, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 - I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 - You'll update your blog with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 - You'll include this explanation.
5 - You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.
6 - Have fun!!!